Cun* of a mood

What a night last night. First I go to the Stand with high hopes, Looking forward to knocking it out the park. Nope worst I have ever done. I got some laughs, but a lot of it didn't hit. It was poor from my standards. So I have decided to take my comedy into a different direction. Rather than noticeable punch, pish,m stoppy starty crapy obvious gags. More observation, with subtle gags. I would say that Agnes was a lot better. Maybe I tried to much. SO left the stand and like to take in a wee cheeky bag of Chinese chips for the journey home. Just the pick me up I needed them  after the Stand. However low and behold , life manage's to piss all over them. I went to a chinesse bought chips, went to a chipper and bought something and asked for some salt. The woman said "do you not think that's a bloody cheek". In fact it's a insult". I was like eh, I don't understand, mind you if you stop being a cow, maybe just put that word on my chips and I will be on my way  i.e inSALT. Why not just be cool, I mean Jesus. Then she continued her rant, Jesus, jut take it with a pinch of salt, and put some over my chips. We left the chipper and started the car journey home. It was a long journey, especially when the exhaust went all Pete tong. I think there is a hole in it, However I'm no mechanic and judging by last night I'm no comedian,  However I am a old woman judging by Agnes. Oh that's another thing that's my name Agnes Campbell. I have taken a hit over this week in comedy terms, The punch line gags don't suit  me I have more to offer. So expect a complete overhaul in material from now on. Thanks peter