BATMAN

****** NA NA ANNA ANA ANA  BATMAN, NNANANNANA BATMAN , NANANANANAN, BATMAN. Hello back again, like Arnold Schwarznegger I said Ill be back, when my wife out and I can commit audletry again and again,        Your probbaly thinking why start with the Batman, Well folks, guys and dolls. I watched the original batman with Adam West and ballbag Robin, I forgot his name, holly smokes, how. I forgot how much I used to laugh at this show when I was younger. Watch it when your older. On todays fantastic episode seen the boy sponger, yes he is a sponger, when doe's he pay for anything. Anyway the villian was the Joker, nope, the penguin, nope, OK catwoman, nope, OK who , who , Clock King, WTF < WTF, exactly, he made a guest apperance, he was terrible it was clock gags a plenty, such as time is up batman, ho ho, the mouse struck one, boing, time is of the essence batman, swoosh. Who worte this, even Adam West must of been reading the script saying thank god, this is bloody awful could be worse I could of been the clock king, What Villian will have on tomorrows episode , bike man, that rides around on a bike, saying things like, spoke you batman, and wheel be seeing you soon,. The pinnacle of the show was when batman and robin stopped off for bat burgers and ballbag robin said is that OK to eat some bat burgers, which Adam West the mayor from Family Guy said yes even crimfrighters need nourishment. Then to top it off they waited and handed back there empty trays to the kiosk woman, NANANANNANANAN BATMAN NANNANNANANNAN BATMAN, NNANA oh bugger it, thank god for Christphoer Nolan,

Texan Horrors

Hey my Sweddish chums. Just kidding How is everyone, I have a job, I have a job. So smiling again, bloggs won't just be rants of major depression. They will be fun and humorous OK and ranty. However they might not be daily. I will be shattered after work. I was watching Wrong Turn, the horror film. It's when the cousins mate with each other and then start killing all the tourists, in Texas of course. It's always Texas they base the horrors on, I know that horrors are not real. However I have no ambition to visit Texas in my life, especially not in a white camper van, with two female friends with big tits. There always in a Texan horror film and always one of them gets chopped up. See what annoys me about Wrong Turn, or any Texan horror. They always ask a weirdo directions. Why do they go near these shops, why not wait, till they meet someone that has good fashion . Instead of asking a mother that has a son that was bullied at school for 18 years and happens to carry a chainsaw for good measure. If I met anyone like they meet. I would be like fu*k the holiday. Were going home. See what I love about Wrong Turn that they escape the monsters but at the end he still go's back and knocks fu*k ou of them all, effing class, take that ye wan*s xx

Sinking ship

• The sun will come out tomorrow, tomorrow I loves ya, (record coming off the needle). Well maybe my bloggs are going to be a lot more lively and happy and fluffy, then again maybe not. I never got that job, nightmare on bloody elm street. So gutted. However they have asked me in for a interview for another post, so fingers crossed. Tonight I'm going to watch Titanic, yes I know Titanic, for all the bad rep it gets, Up until Avatar was the biggest grossing film of all time. However you try to tell people that my heart will go on, kidding. You try to tell people you enjoy the film and they treat you like you just fuck*d your cousins. However you lying toerags yous must of watched at some point. They don't just make up those figures. Yes I will be fast forwarding Celine Dione part, ah the beauty of SKY plus, 

Toothpaste ads grrrrrrrrrr

Hellllllllllllllllllllooooooooo   Yes well, toothpaste adverts, do my nut (head) in. This always have some smug bastar* on there advert. Then you have the cunning terminology that they like to throw in, like fluoride crystals, crstalisazation, etc.... Then they have the smug bast*ard making on how using this toothpaste changed there life. Oh yeah toothpaste changed there life, we have a warrant to search your house as you have been accused of dealing cocaine to minors, in the jail, for 8 year term. Then get out tempted back to the high life or making Lot's of money off of wanker* such as Charlie Sheen. However just on the day you were going to pick up your lorry load of cocaine, you decide that you need a bite to eat, so stop and buy a sandwich. Then out of the blue, a man selling collgate asks you to brush your teeth with some collgate, you have a aphimpny moment and decide not to sell any more drug's and choose a lawful path, then your phone rings, you answer it and it's Charlie Sheen asking where his score of coke has gone, and you tell him, I chose toothpaste and it has changed my life around,       BOLLOCCCKKKKSSSSSSSSSS

Shaving

Sunday 5th of June, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, to shaving. I have to shave every flipping day. Every day, I have to heat up the water, then squirt the foam, then shave my face. My stubble is like rough as a rock. I mind I was told from my Dad, Son if you ever see a dolphin, punch it in the nose, just kidding. He said your no son of mine, just joking. He said son once you start shaving you will have to shave everyday. I waited until I was 20 years of age, but then I was getting pelters (slagging) for my bum fluff, that's what they call it in Scotland. So I shaved it off. Then I had to shave every 2-3 days. Then I met a girl that liked kissing me a lot, she made me shave every day, my face looked like a skeplt (smacked) arse. The friction from the razor, never changes. I started off with one blade, now they have battery powered Gillette razors, or wilkinson 5 blades. They always lead with the slogan the best shave yet. Well why not effing create a razor that is the best shave, I would pay extra money. Instead of scrambling around trying to find a set of  blades that they don't produce anymore. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, till the morn more gripes more groans x

• Saturday 4th June        Well mood has improved a little, I have just been watching BGT, Britain's got talent watching dancing, singing, and some piano work, then David Hall, yes the dancing telecommunications pensioner (WTF). What's his act, well basically he  ad-libs to backing tracks, while dancing to pissy songs, GARBAGE, the times when you wish you had a gun, I came out of depression for this. David Hasslehoff keeps repeating himself,  like he has the onset of dementia. Twice he has said the same comment's from last night, just as well there was not 12 acts using fire. As the Hoff's remark would be "your on fire, and I mean literally on fire". What a tit. It's been a pretty bland weekend. I love being skint, to much things to do, I think it's more fun being skint than it is having money. I mean you can't eat, you can't drink, so much fun, that's a joke. Nothing to do the night, I think I might just go and mug a pensioner, not for the money just for kicks. There is a great saying that states "you only have one life so just enjoy it", thank fuck that's all I can say. Currently listening to my neighbours arguing, however not sure, need a bigger glass for the wall, see you all Super Sunday x

Chery Cole

Friday 3rd of June      So whats the big horray in the news this week, you may ask. It's the Chery Cole being dumped by the x-factor. Shame after her massive bout of life threatening malaria??? and her marriage to her footballer going tits up, what how??? pftttttt. I mean Cheryl Cheryl, sorry but I don't think I will be  the first person to laugh at your dilemma. I don't feel that you were axed cause of your Geordie accent. You went over to America and the yanks, were like who the f*ck is this. You were like I cant sing, I can barley dance, I don't write my own songs. However I know WILL I AM. There like so, then they watched your videos and thought, well there not very good are they. Then they said but she got to number 1 in the UK. Then they thought she must be kind of OK, then they realised that Dizze Rascal got to number 1, along with westlife, four of them were who are Westlife, while one of them said exactly. Now people feel sorry for her, awww didums, the media got her to number 1, not her. As lets face it fight for this love was pretty shit. As for her accent come on now. Try coming from Aberdeen, we can't get our accent understood past Abroath (small Scottish town, full of mutants). So get it up ye, the crown has fairly come off the pretty head of yours, go back to that band, you know the one you were a backing singer for, the one you left for the chance of fame, the one that writes none of there own songs, cant mind, f*ck it, fuc* off Cheryl,