Tiger Tiger

Hello, on a bit of a hangover today. I was out last night living the ve da loca. Or out getting pissed, trilled, mango ed, smashed. Ended up in Soul which is quite good. A little older so not a lot of scrappy doo's jumping about. Getting into fights, with there let me at em, let me at am approach to the world. Then we went to tonik and this girl was doing some salsa dancing then fell on her arse. Then got up and done it again, funny like Todd Carty of dancing of ice fame.   Then we ended up in Tiger Tiger, it's a nightclub in Aberdeen. It's full of Made in Chelsea, or I like to call them Made as Leeches, as basically they suck the life out of any moron that watches this utter retarded gash*.  Or Towie, The only way is  ego. I know I need to think of better names!. The people in Tiger, Tiger have  More fake tan, false nails and false eyelashes that can be found at a Gypsy's wedding. I personally have never been one to love myself like half this lot. I mean there was a massive mirror next to me. All but one out of 100 looked into it and sorted there, bra, shirt, hair. The one that didn't she fell over. You had one girl that just had her phone out, I thought she was trying to get a signal, It was out that much. However she was so drunk she could not even send a text. It was really funny when she walked on the dance floor, it was like she was in a big pinball machine. Bouncing off of one person to another. Then you had the rugby guys re-creating hi 5s like they were in top gun as maverick and goose and just spiked the volleyball back at Iceman. Ultra gay. Then you have the guys that can't dance there just shovelling. I thought that there were from the Aberdeen City Council Garden Squad because everyday im shuffling.  Then you have the women that are like , I love me, and  I really love me, my friends love, my reflection loves me, but why doe's brad not love me. There are a lot of people with no manners, and don't get me started on the music. a Dj standing with a lap top, pretending that he has decks. Look at me i'm David Guetta, I would say more David Guetta to fu**.  grrrrrrrrr,  to Tiger Tiger, which is a appropriate ending for Tiger Tiger, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, there not so great. x

Keg Watch

As they say in Aberdeen for a greeting. Fit Likey. Well obviously the big story is the cruise ship in Italian water. However I only wish the people involved that they are found for there families sake. In other news, we have had bird watch, pub watch. now there is wait for it Keg watch, that's right police have decided that  robbers, murderers and rapists are old news. Now they are on the hunt for big shiny metal barrels, called kegs. Ah because there full of alchhol?. No empty empty ones?????. Wait a minute so the police have created a division for this. Yes that's right!, they go on about the police having lack of funding, they complain about the mountains of paperwork, but what if we track down empty kegs, it's criminalinty evolved. What's next instead of crime watch on BBC1 Keg watch. Tonight on Keg watch, Have you seen this slightly looking suspicious gezzer, goes by the name of Keg, metal by name metal by nature. Please stay vigilant check all your pub's could be hanging about in your cellar. In all fairness they are worth a few bob. I mean so much so, that it will be no time before you get Keg Insurance for pubs,  mind you for that to work insurers will need to drum up a little support, boom boom, or should I mean bang bang , xx 

Child Benefts and Banking Cheiftan , with reference to a currnet song lol x

Hi there, thanks for stopping by! (Anchorman). In the news today government in cocaine shocker. David Cameron caught with over 4 kilos of cocaine. Yeah right!. He would be lucky to be caught with a alcoholic  drink, as he's a twat. Let's start again shall we. In the news today child benefit to be slashed. When I first read this, I thought oh my god. People are barley surviving on low incomes as it is. However once you read on. You realise that they are going to be cutting child benefit on anyone that earns 44,000 a year, or is above the 40% tax threshold (hey no falling asleep I know it's yawn tax). So obvisouly there is upraor at this another benefit cut. No that's right, people that have been claiming benefits that earn 44,000 a year are like, fuc** it. Oh well there goes the swan that I adopted. I mean for god sake they are on 44,000 a year. Why did the government not cut this sooner instead of cutting public funding to schools, clubs and library's. That's right why would they there on 44,000 a year. So instead of fiddling the expenses just give your salary a little top up and back of the net, a extra 2, 500 a year in child benefit. What's the saying again , give them a inch and they will take a monumental amount of money to themselves, through fraudulent epenses and child benefit. In other news the Lloyd's Banking Chief Atonio Horsa Fuckin* minted, has declined his annual bonus. Awwww what a tropper, a absoulte saint, maybe bankers get a raw deal from us. However he is on wait for it, deep breath 1.06million a year. WTF, When I went to Spain and ask how the bankers were partying. I thought to myself, Jonny enm ete Loko. I couldn't belive what I was lisiting to when Antonio told me his salary and bonus, What the Fu&*, All day , All night What the F8uc*

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,,,,  Oh his bonus a year for however long he has been working is 225% of that,      grrrrrrrrrr . 

Hello!. Right god knows how , but bloody Face book blocked my blog. No idea why. I think I have fought my case though. SO three cheers for the return of the blog. The content is not that bad. Anyway in the news today. American soldiers have urinated on Iraq's prisoners. I mean why would you do that. I tell you why, you send over people, there will be morons in every batch.  This is what happens, uneducated soldiers at a young age fighting in a unjust war. See brutal things, going to mess with anyone's mind. I'm not condoning what they did. I'm just sayign this is what will occur.! Mind you surprised I'm not talking about a hospital being blown up by friendly fire. Americans they do love to hit a big thing with a red cross. Wonder why England is not blown up, I mean that's basically a red cross. I think that's why Americans that have colour blindness are not allowed in the army. In other news Wonga.com Or that fat annoying bloke that just shouts wonga! no not Lenny Henry, he's black and doe's the hotels, No not the guy that does the Go Compere adverts. The fat dickhea*. well there in lot's of trouble as they have offered loans to pay for student's. I would love to see the Wonga.com studetn loans form. Why do you want a loan from Wonga.com for?.  Bullshi* answer. I have many travelling expenses. I have to catch two buses a day. I have 6 course books to buy at 40.00 pounds each. I have to help my impartial blind sister to campus, she needs constant care. Real answer. Basically me Barry and Egan are going to go on a 4 day bender in Lu ton, then onto Newcastle, we will be doing a variety of shots and other drink. Then I have to pay a deposit for the hotel room and cause I'll be sick all over the hotel suite. I will lose my 200.00 pounds deposit. Also need to pay for round 2, a night out in Liverpool Come on. Speak the morn x 

Good Evening, "They may take our lives but they will never take our FREEDOM". Yes that's right our very own William Wallace, Mr Brave-heart himself, Alex Salmond. OK He's hardly  William Wallace, I gather that, he's 20 stone overweight and carry s a briefcase instead of a broadsword. However he doe's have a Brave-heart, as you would need, to consume that amount of daily cholesterol. He state's that Scotland wants a independence, no you do! we dont!. We will never get a independence, many moons ago we fought for a Iindependecce, got it gained our freedom and the one day thought nah it's overrated. However Scotland wants it again, we want to fly solo again. I mean look at all the money that is being made from the oil from England. We want to make our own oil and the revenue to stay in Scotland!. Yeah cause were going to see that money?. 10 years from now if Scotland has it's Independence. I'm will be sending my children to there gold plated school, in Lamborghini's, instead of packing the cheap Asda yogurt's, with all this money, it's  Muller Rice as i'm rich. Thank God i'm Scottish?. Note to  Mr Salmond it's not going to happen, so just give up the ghost, pack up your little battle reenactment of Bannockburn, put them back in the cupboard and take off your wig, put away your light sabre and stop pretending to be bloody William Wallace all the time and wise up.             x 

Independence what a laugh

Good Evening, "They may take our lives but they will never take our FREEDOM". Yes that's right our very own William Wallace, Mr Brave-heart himself, Alex Salmond. OK He's hardly  William Wallace, I gather that, he's 20 stone overweight and carry s a briefcase instead of a broadsword. However he doe's have a Brave-heart, as you would need, to consume that amount of daily cholesterol. He state's that Scotland wants a independence, no you do! we dont!. We will never get a independence, many moons ago we fought for a Iindependecce, got it gained our freedom and the one day thought nah it's overrated. However Scotland wants it again, we want to fly solo again. I mean look at all the money that is being made from the oil from England. We want to make our own oil and the revenue to stay in Scotland!. Yeah cause were going to see that money?. 10 years from now if Scotland has it's Independence. I'm will be sending my children to there gold plated school, in Lamborghini's, instead of packing the cheap Asda yogurt's, with all this money, it's  Muller Rice as i'm rich. Thank God i'm Scottish?. Note to  Mr Salmond it's not going to happen, so just give up the ghost, pack up your little battle reenactment of Bannockburn, put them back in the cupboard and take off your wig, put away your light sabre and stop pretending to be bloody William Wallace all the time and wise up.             x 

Labour hmmmmm

Hello again. I have had a eventful day, I was in my special little meetings today. There is as confusing as 4 piece sofa. Or more confusing than the ending of Captain America. Now that is confusing. Or giving a gay man a pair of tits, Or giving a lady Boy of Bangkok her special area back. Or as confusing as a well known rich chef, stealing wine for the buzz of it, strange if he was really wanting a buzz from stealing, why not steal a tin of lighter fluid. In the news Labour Leader Ed Milliband says that he can tackle the recession and lead us into a brighter future. I mean Ed Milliabnd the new boy, looks like he has been born with a set of cutlery up his arse, never mind a silver spoon. If he did have a set of silver cutler, I bet the grease boy would be up his  arse  arranging it, He would be saying "tsk tsk, is it serving spoon right , then fork and then knife". I mean he took over from slack jaw mcgraw (Gordon Brown). Personally I thought Gordon Brown was a pelican, that's why he wears a bib as when he speaks there is water spirting everywhere. Also if you look closley down his throat you can see a fish, that has been there since last october.


 So Milliband what are you going to do about poverty?, and rising house costs?, and the state of the NHS?. Milband "oh let me sort this cutlery set up my arse", now is it fork, spoon?, see even if he gets elected in, he will just do what the Tories have done , complain, moan and debate for numerous hours, after many  and heated exchanges, That's right (NOTHING). David Cameron and Nick Clegg,to David Cameron "Here David I thought I took on politics to make a difference to the world" , David  Cameron to Nick Clegg , "Yeah who told you that shite".  So we belive you Ed Milliband, looking forward to sweeping changes in goverment. Well see!